Some updates and reflection

Jaron "talking" to his sister and brother

Kids are asleep, the sun is shining, and I'm finally having a bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats for lunch at 2 p.m.  I've been reflecting on the last few weeks...  Jaron is now 3 months old!  He has his second cold which has lasted nearly 3 weeks but so far he's been able to fight it well.  We have a new piece of equipment in our house now, a suction.  It works wonders to clean out his nose. I'm not sure how I raised 3 other babies without one!  He is on a new med for acid reflux which is working much better.  And we FINALLY found a formula that doesn't upset him!!!  It's called Elecare and it requires a prescription because it is for babies with very specific dietary needs.  I have taken him to 5 doctor appointments in 3 days and been referred to 2 new specialists.  He only weighs 9 lbs. 9 oz.  which is not enough for a 3 month old but I'm working on it.  I think he will always be a little guy but if he keeps up this really low weight they will start talking about a g-tube.  Brian and I are both nervous about that.  On a happier note, Jaron is making sounds!  His first word was "ow." It's actually quite pitiful and adorable at the same time.  We'll take it, since its the first vocalizing he has done.  And when he cries he either says "waa" or "ma" which melts my heart every time.  He is even starting to try to socialize with us for brief moments in the day.  Usually around 7 p.m. he kind of looks at whoever is talking to him and he opens his mouth like he wants to talk, smiles a little and every once in awhile makes a sound.  After about 5 minutes he starts to fuss and then falls asleep. They are precious times!  It has been a crazy 3 months.  I have felt deep love and deep despair, great joy and great fear, but mostly an abiding peace beyond explanation...  The first few weeks were so scary and overwhelming.  To be honest I wasn't sure if I should guard my heart for fear of losing him at any moment, so I clung to him as if each breath could be his last.  But over the last several days I have read other family's stories of their Miller-Dieker children who are 4 or 7 years old.  I am now trying to prepare my heart, mind, soul and body for a long bumpy road.  One I never imagined I would be on.  I am excited and terrified in the same breath.  Every day I am reminded what a special gift Jaron is to our family.  He has touched the lives of his mom, dad, brother, sisters, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and it has branched out to more people than I know or even realize.  On several occasions I've been told that someone I don't even know has been praying for my baby boy and our family.  And that touches me deeper than I can say...  Kids are awake, sun is still shining, time to go be mommy!