FINISHED! Bring on the next one!

When I started this journey, I had a good 40 pounds to lose, half of which I'm still working on.  I'm hoping that the weight is harder to shed simply because I am gaining serious running muscles!

A few years ago I decided to do something about my weight. It had plagued me since I was fresh out of high school.  It took me motivating myself to exercise, eat more healthfully, and then actually losing weight, to realize that being overweight was not just an uncontrollable product of my genes.   I kept the 40 pounds off that time, until I was pregnant with my 4th child.  I realized my relationship with food and being inactive was actually sin I was clinging to.  I used food to bring me joy, to comfort me when I was stressed,  frustrated, or just plain bored.  I was a tired and overwhelmed mom of 4 young children.  I chose not to view my body from God's perspective.  He created our bodies to be His temple, a sacred place where His Spirit dwells (1 Corinthians 3:16).  I did not have the respect for my body that God had.  I was definitely not honoring God with my body. 


 Fast forward to March 2011, 16 days into our family's "Get Ripped" program.  I received the transformational message from God, through Diane Comer, our pastor's wife, whom I greatly respect. 


 A challenge to embrace, Romans 12:1 


Therefore, I urge you, (sisters) in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices,  Holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.

To live out, 1 Corinthians 6:20

You are NOT YOUR OWN; you were bought at a price.  Therefore honor God with your body.

Encouraged by Jodi Stilp's words of running wisdom and advice, we, the women of Solid Rock, embarked on a mission to train and finish the Helvetia Half Marathon on June 11, 2011.

I had been working-out intensely for two and half weeks with Brian and the kids.  I was eating only the approved food on the "Get Ripped in 90 Days" meal plan.  I felt invincible!  Of course I could train for a half marathon!  That confidence was only half of the story.  I could have chosen the safe route and agreed to the 10K portion of the race.  Either way, I wasn't going to register until I was pretty sure I wasn't going to be injured by all this running.

Originally inspired by the "Biggest Loser" TV show, I really wanted my whole family (dad, mom, brothers and sisters) to do a family "biggest loser" with me.  I think they all have that doubt in their mind that they can't lose the weight either.  But I know they can!  With God, nothing is impossible!  Assuming I was going to get a big "N-O" from each one, I began asking them to join me on this "mission impossible," a half marathon.  And one-by-nervous-one, they said "YES!"  But they told me I was crazy and they all said, "only the 10K."

Here we go...

We got running shoes, headphones for our ipods, energy gels, new water bottles, recovery juices, and some real running socks!  My brother and sis-in-law got a double jogging stroller from craigslist so they could run with their two toddlers.   We were ready to train!  Separated by 1 to 5 hours distance, from Beaverton to Rainier, OR and up to Mount Vernon, WA. We stayed connected by group messages on Facebook.  We ran long runs together on the weekends when we could.  We even gathered for a family birthday in Tacoma and ran 10 miles along a golf course.  WE were really doing this!  I was still tentatively clinging to my commitment to run the 13.1 and the rest of the crew decided, as they registered online, to tackle the whole thing with me!  I couldn't believe it, they were signed up before me!  And they whined over the phone, "Why did you get me into this?"  I loved it!

Brian and I had talked about getting shirts made, since there were 7 of us running together.  It would just be cool to identify ourselves as a group!  We asked for ideas of a logo and knew we wanted a bible verse as our inspiration.  After all, we were doing this to glorify God with our bodies!  We chose a turtle for the front of our shirts because Jaron's nickname is Turtle Man.  Based on a picture of him smiling at about 2 weeks old, my sister Katy thought he looked like a turtle.  He's been collecting turtles ever since.  His amazing life has transformed each one of our lives over the course of the last year.  He is our little glimpse of heaven, here on earth.  Dad helped us find Hebrews 12:1 as our theme verse.  Little did we know, this verse would encourage countless runners along the course of the Helvetia Half Marathon!

Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, 

and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

I only wish we had added: "And all God's children said, ____!"  Because I had at least 30 runners who commented on my verse while running the race.  And the others had that big of a response as well.  It would have been neat to have that many people saying, "AMEN!" as they passed by us!  Maybe on the next shirt...

Race day came. We all showed up, stretched, drank water, prayed, ran, walked, huffed, puffed, prayed some more, ached, groaned...  but all 7 of us FINISHED!!!  And we had a crowd of supportive family (11 people) to welcome us at the end!  Brian and the kids all came in the morning and waited half the day at the Hillsboro Stadium to see us cross that line.  A few of us beat our training pace!  Some were just thrilled to cross the finish line still alive! We were all amazed and thankful to complete what we started!  TOGETHER!  Let's do another one!

"The 20 Second Rule" vs. LOVE

Sitting in the living room the other day, I heard Lukas in the bathroom counting to "20," as he washed his hands.  I turned to Brian with a familiar, "what is going on?" look.  He laughed.  You know those signs in public restrooms that advise you to wash your hands for 20 seconds?  Well, Lukas saw the sign a few weeks ago and has been faithfully obeying the rule ever since.  You see, he is our first born and he is a rule-follower to the extreme. He almost panics when someone does something he knows is wrong.  He always worries about arriving on time.  He knows the speed limit and cell phone laws and advises me whenever I try to bend the rules.

~~~

I have been contemplating once again...    Considering the decisions we make as a family and the ways we have chosen to raise our children.  I am constantly being challenged to rethink my ways.  This is a good thing.  I don't think God intended for anything to be static, but rather molded, rethought, challenged and changed accordingly.  My thinking this week has been around the way we homeschool, train, feed, entertain, and just plain LIVE with our children.  It takes me several days, quiet thoughts, reading, journalling, praying, bouncing my thoughts off of one or two people I trust...

Being a stay-at-home Mama is super challenging.  Figuring out how to be a good steward of the gifts (children) that God has given, is a high and difficult calling.  I have felt this calling since I was a little girl...

My favorite thing to do was play "house."  

I waited, 

what seemed like forever, 

for my very own Cabbage Patch Doll.  

And Kitty Hellen, 

with a blonde puff of yarn on her otherwise round, bald head, 

was my most treasured possession!  

I sat and rocked that baby, and put her to bed, and disciplined her, and taught her, 

like my life depended on it. 

 The things that excited me in books were 

babies, 

hospitals, 

and teachers.  

God was preparing me for the life I'm now living! 

Amazing!

I have thought about why I'm homeschooling...  The simple answer: I enjoy it!
I don't have a long, well-thought out list to share.
 Although there are multiple reasons.
 And I have been inspired by Ann Voskamp's,  Why Would Anyone Be Crazy Enough to Homeschool?  blog post.  You should check it out, it's beautiful!  

But I am not Ann.   

I was challenged and encouraged by Katherine in her blog called,  Shelter is not a place  You could read that one too!

Or this one...  Shelter

But I was totally rocked by this article:

 Solving the Crisis in Homeschooling: Exposing the 7 major blind spots of homeschoolers

It is a REALLY LONG article and it relates to anyone whose desire is raising children to be true followers of Jesus.  This is not just about homeschooling!  I can't emphasize that enough!  It is a REALLY GOOD ARTICLE about family-minded parents, take the time to read it all. (I had to save it to my documents so that I could read it over several days.  I only had pieces of time to sit and read.)

I am guilty of every one of the 7 blind spots he addresses:

1.) Self-centered dreams 

2.) Family as an idol 

3.) Emphasis on outward form 

4.) Tendency to judge 

5.) Over-dependence on authority and control 

6.) Over-reliance upon sheltering 

7.) Formulaic parenting breaks down relationship

Two of my favorite quotes from his article that sum up what he's learned as a father and pastor: 

"Our children spiritually blossom, not from the controls we impose from the outside, but from what they catch from us on the inside."

"I have observed that the best and most lasting fruit is born in families in which the gospel is genuinely believed and lived. Parents who daily depend upon God, and not their methods and self-working principles, are most likely to pass on their faith. I am convinced that the most contagious parenting is living a heartfelt faith before your children."

I tried to explain the main things that moved me in this very long article and Brian just said,
"You already know all this."
Thanks, Hun!  (If he didn't have so much faith in me, I don't know how I could manage :)
But I guess as a stay-at-home-christian-homeschooling-mom (add "Jaron's nurse" to that list and I'm exhausted saying it!), I just need encouragement every once in awhile.
And a new perspective never hurts. 

To encourage is to give active help or to raise confidence 

to the point where one dares to do what is difficult. 

(Thank you, Mr. Webster)

He said it.  It's difficult.

We want the best for our children
 And we think they are the best
 So we'll do whatever it takes to be the best

But at what expense?

Every mom has stood in a grocery store with a crying child.  You aren't a real mom if you haven't.  Just wait.  It doesn't take long for the hopes and dreams you had of being perfect parents, with perfect plans, and producing perfect children...  to be loudly and embarrassingly, dashed.  Your first feeling in this instance, as I stated, is embarrassment.  What are all these people going to think of ME?
It is so easy to be trapped by this earthly desire to be seen as a good and godly parent.  But what does our heavenly Father have to say about this?  1 Samuel 16:7 states very plainly, "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.  Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

So what is truly important?

Whether other's see us as a success or failure as a parent?

Think about that for a minute....

Ask yourself, "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God?  Or am I trying to please men?  If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."  (Galatians 6:10) Paul just got it.  Paul is my hero.  As I study his letters, I never cease to be amazed by the life he lived, the truth he shared, and the faith he was rooted in.  I want to be like Paul.  An imperfect man who implicitly trusted God with his whole being.  No matter what the circumstance, YOU CAN TRUST JESUS!  I think this is my new motto.
But how often are we just like the pharisees?  We think we've got it all together.  We have all the right teaching, yet we fail to see the truth that Jesus came to free us with.  We act right so that we can look good.  We are experts at "cleaning the outside of our cup and dish, but inside we are full of greed and self-indulgence... on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness."  (Matthew 25:23, 28)  Looking good on the outside and having clean-cut, obedient, temper-tantrum-free children, is not why God called me to be a Mom.
Jesus came with a message that would set captives free, give sight to the blind, lift up those who are bowed down, feed the hungry, sustain the fatherless and widows... (Psalm 146:7-9)
He did not come to pat good mom's with well-mannered children on the back.  Good kids are not going to earn us a, "well done my good and faithful servant."  But I am guilty of seeking that assurance from my Savior.  That I'm doing all the right things, at all the right times, so that I get just the result I desire.
So, this is my rambling... Based on weeks of reading, questioning, stumbling...  I even considered getting rid of the TV a few weeks ago.  I don't think our family has been called to that decision but I am thankful for the perspectives I've been exposed to.  So that as a couple, Brian and I can make decisions for our family, that are pleasing to the Lord.  Ultimately, I want my children to LOVE the Lord their God with all their heart and with all their soul and with all their strength, and love their neighbor as themselves.

And that is what I must do.  

The rest is dust.  

~~~

I choose not to live in bondage to the world's view of being a "good parent".  I believe God wants His children to be set free from RULES in order to extend forgiveness, grace, mercy and unconditional love. That's what Jesus did.  He came to save that which was lost.  The down-trodden, broken-hearted, lost souls. He accepted the extravagant love of a prostitute.  He shepherded greedy tax-collectors.  He opened the eyes of a zealous pharisee.  He forgave each one of us and paid the ultimate price, because He loves even me.

LOVE IS THE KEY.

I can wash my hands for 20 seconds, but if I have not love...

Just Imagining...

Jaron Matthew,

I'm not sure if it's the handsome big-boy haircut you got last week, or the little one and a half year old I saw running around and playing the other day, or the view from my kitchen of the 3 kids playing, laughing, and running outside and you laying on your play-mat in the living room, or that amazing depth to your eyes that says, "there's so much more..."

I've been imagining....  

What would you be like?  

I can just see your chubby little legs toddling in the grass, chasing after your big brother with an adoring smile.  An infectious giggle as Hannah tickles your chin and tells you, "You're beautiful, baby brother!"  Your cute little feet and arms clinging to Haylee's back.  She'd LOVE to give you a piggy-back ride!

It's amazing how the brokenness of this world makes us long for our forever home.  We have never wanted to be inside the gates of heaven so much as we do now that you're here.  Lukas and Daddy can't wait to play soccer with you, Little Man!  Haylee really wants to see you walk and talk just like her.  And you will always be Hanny's baby brother, she loves you so.  I just can't wait to see your face and KNOW you.  Your personality, your voice, your heart, your feelings, your thoughts...  I guess you'll never have to share your fears because with Jesus, you'll have perfect peace.

I have this rose bush in the back yard that is white and it's called a floribunda.  I imagine it's called that because it flowers abundantly.  There are over 400 tiny buds on it now, I just counted!  Only a few are are beginning to emerge in their white perfection.  I LOVE roses!  It made me think of our view, here on earth...

  

We see only in part... 

The beginning of the story...

 A taste of what was meant to be.....  

God has so much in store for us.  I hope that we would all be able to taste and see that the Lord is good.  And look forward with hopeful anticipation to the day we are all made whole, complete in Christ Jesus!

My heart overflows with love for you, my sweet boy!  Thank you for bringing so much joy to my life!  A joy that transcends the circumstances I'm faced with.  That can see the good only because I feel the presence of the Savior right here with me.  You are my little diamond in the rough! I can't wait to see the the sparkling, perfect you!

With all my love (and bunches of kisses too!),
Mommy

Dear Sweet Jesus,
My heart is aching.  I've just read a post from another mom of a Miller-Dieker baby, Zachary, who is now in Your arms.  My heart is broken.  Lord, above all, give that family peace and strength as they lean into You through their pain.  I'm confident that You are now closer to them than ever, wrapping Your loving arms around them as they grieve with empty arms.  He was only with them 10 short months and they showed more faith and courage than most people ever have to in a lifetime.  Thank you for their testimony to me as they have shared of Your greatness on this long, cut short, journey.

I praise you for every moment I am blessed with my baby boy.  For every tube, medication, treatment, appointment, supply...  Everything that seems such a burden now, may I see them as a gift of life.  Thank You for each of the children I hold in my arms today.  Their lives are a miracle.  A precious gift from You.
You are good and Your love endures forever.
Amen