He has pooped.
It's a mess.
He hates to be cleaned up.
He screams.
I scramble.
He's arching.
Not breathing.
Eyes wild.
”Oh God”
Blue face.
Not again.
Lord help him.
Please stop this.
”Breathe baby”
I give him a breath or two.
Did that even work?
His teeth are clenched.
His body stiff.
Stuck.
Blue...
. . . . . .
Finally, a faint gasp.
I breathe deep.
He lays silent and so still.
I rub his chest and assure him, he's gonna be ok.
Slowly color returns to his stone still face.
From screaming panic to an eerie calm.
He is spent.
So am I.
Lord help us.
 |
| So tired after his horrible seizure |
Please pray for Jaron to stop having seizures. And for my heart that stops every time I watch my baby suffer so violently. We need wisdom and peace from the Lord. He has guided us through so many unknowns and I know He will continue to show us the way. We have been loving that Jaron is more alert and sometimes even gives a smile! He is not on any seizure medicines right now besides the ketogenic diet. The decision remains in our hands whether we try another medicine. I hate the side-effects that such potent anti-seizure meds cause but if there is any hope of better seizure control, of course we desire that. Wisdom, we need wisdom.
3 comments:
I'm so sorry. Those types of seizures are my least favorite, because they are just so awful to witness. So helpless to see your baby lying blue in front of you. :( Praying for you...
Oh, dear Monica, I felt the intensity of emotion as I read this post line by line. I know what it's like and I prayed the same short prayer many times for Daron. I think of you and Jaron often. May the Lord give you strength and encouragement anew. May you and Him be closer than ever...
Hello dear old friend, I just read this post. I have no words, but tears and prayers for you. It's been a long time, but I sure do love you! It's beautiful to see what you are allowing God to do in your lives. I will hold you in my prayers.
Love - Christine Miller
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