Wow, it's been 2 months since my last blog?!

 We have been a busy bunch...  

4 new haircuts

I ran my 3rd Half Marathon
Eugene Women's

Ashley and Josh

My brother, his wife (my college roommate), and their 2 daughters moved into our neighborhood!

Jocelyn and Abby

School started for 3! 

I thought I'd just get serious about Haylee (5 1/2) this year because she is Kindergarten age now and let Hannah (4 1/2) play for one more year.  But we got her a Preschool workbook and she went through all 200 pages in 6 weeks!  She was completing 10-15 pages a day and loving it!  So we decided to order the Kindergarten Math and Phonics workbooks for Hannah like Haylee.  Hannah is quickly trying to catch up.  They are only 13 months apart, so we'll see how they land over the years academically, but no pressure either way.  That's one of the beauties of homeschooling, you don't have to be governed by grade levels.  You have the freedom to move ahead or slow down depending on each child's progress.  

Lukas made a great Mario! 

Lukas (7) is really taking off with reading, but I still do a lot of reading aloud to him for the chapter books.  I was really nervous about homeschool this year because I was unsure how it was going to work for a newish reader doing 2nd grade, and teaching one or both of the girls to start reading.  I'm still amazed a mom without a college degree can teach her own child to read!  What an incredible concept!  It's such a rewarding task!  But 2 in one year?  EEK!

It's crazy to sit down with all 3 at the table and have all 3 asking, at the same time, "What do I do on this page?"  Aaaa!
I have begun a few new habits to help me stay calm and keep everyone focused.

1) We light a yummy candle in the middle of the table 

(deep breath) 

2) I play Classical music on Pandora Radio 

(Just discovered Pandora this month and I LOVE it!)

3) I always bring my coffee!  

And 4) We slide Jaron's chair right up to the table, so he can be a part of the school day (or take a nap).  

It also helps that Autumn is my favorite season!  The AMAZING color of leaves on the trees out the dining room window (our homeschool room) fills my soul with thanksgiving!

I LOVE this big tree in front of our house in the Fall!

This is an old Fall picture of the girls.
It makes me smile!

Oh, and Jaron is SMILING!!!  And that makes my soul sing every time!

Speaking of Jaron, he got new wheels, a Kid Kart Xpress!  (pics later) He is 19 months old and has grown an inch longer (30") and a pound heavier (21' 9").  He is almost weaned off of both seizure medicines (Keppra and Topomax), and will soon be only on the ketogenic diet and supplements for seizure control.  He had a 2 week period of NO SEIZURES!  He started smiling, cooing, and responding in his own special way!  And I would say his seizures are "controlled" for now.  He has multiple little "startle spasms" through the day (I coined the term because that's exactly what they look like).  But they are not disruptive and he often smiles right after he does it.  We have now added a Speech Pathologist to his list of specialists, who is excited to be teaching him to use switch toys!  Basically, it is an electronic toy attached to a cord with an "easy" button on the end.  They place the button about a finger-width from his head or hand or foot and teach him to push the button to activate the toy!  I'm shocked that he is able to make the cause-and-effect connection!  The fact that a year ago, I was trying to prepare my heart for losing my precious baby boy (If you're wondering... No, it's not possible to prepare for), and today I'm telling him, "Push the button, play your music!" is a miracle!

More later...

My Last Visit With Grandpa

I wasn't lucky enough to call him Grandpa my whole life, but as soon as I met him I loved him and he was my Grandpa for life.  He was Grandpa to me before I even married into the family, 10 summers ago.  

His only son, my father-in-law, Lee, said he was a lover not a warrior.  An Aphrodite of sorts.  It's true.  Grandpa served faithfully in World War 2, but he was a clerk at a headquarter, not a combat soldier.  And the highlight of those war days was the story of returning home to marry the love of his life, Betty Grace!

The Christmas after our wedding in 2002, Grandpa and Grandma gave everyone a green, hard-back, NIV, One Year Bible.  I finally read through the Bible in 2009 and now I'm on a 2-year track through it again.  They wrote a sweet message on the inside cover and ended it like this,

  We pray God will bless your home as you grow together as a family of your own.  A family growing after God's own heart and the WORD of God, whatever and wherever God leads you.  

Grandma and Grandpa Albaugh 

Psalm 119:9-16

"... I treasure Your WORD in my heart..."

On August 26, 2011, I sat by Grandpa's bedside and read him those treasured WORDS.  Lee had gone home to shower and have dinner with Cheryl.  He had kept a constant vigil by his dad's side the last few days.  Aunt Vanessa, after watering Grandma's Garden, and starting a load of Grandpa's laundry, went to dinner with her family and promised to return soon.  I sat down in the chair next to Grandpa with my Bible, a journal, and my phone (I didn't know all the verses of hymns I wanted to sing with him).  

He had spent the whole day before, saying goodbye to his grand children, great grand children and a few life-long friends.  And of course, he had his last bowl of ice cream!  He literally fought for every breath.  Yet he uttered many, "I love you's" and last encouraging words. A smile. An eye brow raise. A hand squeeze.  He truly was a lover!

So, from 5:30 till 7 p.m. Friday night, I sang, I read, and I prayed.  We delighted in the WORD of God!  It was like sharing a very familiar story.  God's WORD was more powerful that evening than I've ever experienced!  Every WORD came alive and it brought unexplainable comfort!  It was really hard to listen to his lungs struggle to take each breath as they were filling with fluid.  But filling the air with word and song, ushered in peace as the Presence of the Lord was in that place! 

And then, one by one, others arrived.  First Vanessa who folded the clean laundry as I sang.  Then Lee and Uncle Rich, and finally Uncle Dave and Cheryl.  We rearranged Grandpa in his bed but he was more comfortable back on his right side.  We wiped his head, face, chest and arms with a cool, wet cloth.  Got him tucked in for the night.  

Instead of turning on one of his favorite Gaither DVD's, we agreed to sing him his last songs, this side of heaven!  "I'll Fly Away," "I've Got a Mansion," and Lee even sang him a song about "Rollin'" that he had sung on the ships returning from the war.  Then Lee pulled out the belt he had made for Grandpa and retold his life story from the pictures he etched into the leather strap.  

And finally, we said goodnight.  We each hugged him, and kissed him and said one last, "I love you" for everyone.  Vanessa whispered to her Daddy that it was OK to go now.  Lee turned off the light and closed the door.  About an hour later, he met his Master at the Throne of Grace!!!

Today, I have been struck by this thought:  Grandpa was just here with the kids and I on Tuesday, enjoying a ham and cheese sandwich, sliced apples, harvest cheddar Sun Chips, and a cup of vanilla/chocolate swirl ice cream!  And now, he is touching the robe of the Holy of holies! I'm in awe!!!

Psalm 17:15 

As for me, 

I shall behold Your face in righteousness; 

when I awake I shall be satisfied, 

beholding Your likeness!

The Albaugh Men, April 2010

See you on Heaven's shore, Grandpa!

My Daddy

 All Geared Up

Dad, Josh, me, Melissa, Mom, Aunt Lisa and Joe (about 1986)

After 27 years with the Portland Fire Bureau, my dad is retiring!  He started out working 2 jobs and going to school for fire science, when I was a baby, and finally got a position "on the line" when I was 3.  He worked as a fire fighter for years but because the "24 hours On/48 hours Off" schedule took him away from our growing family, he decided to work in the Fire Marshall's office for the rest of his career.  He has been a Fire Inspector, HazMat Specialist, Sprinkler Specialist and other positions over the years. I can't remember them all! He's done inspections, alarms, plan review, taught courses at community college, worked his way up to President of the Oregon Fire Marshall's Association, and received the Bronze Medal of Valor in 2005 for rescuing a man from a car fire.

Lukas and Papa (2008)

I remember at least two, "Take your child to work days," that I went to work with Dad.  I was so proud of him and I felt so important as I followed him around his office and the city of Portland.  I've had my picture taken with the big fire coat and helmet on, and now I have pictures of my own children exploring Papa's fire engines.  My favorite memory of my dad, the fire fighter, was in Preschool.  My dad came to talk to the class about fire safety.  He had us all count to 10, while he hid behind the stage curtain and put all his gear on.  He came out so fast, I thought he was a super hero!  It was truly magical to have a fire man for a daddy!

Bethany, Haylee, Lukas, Hannah, Jenna, and Dad (Papa)

So, here's to the next chapter in your life, Dad!  Who knows what great things God has in store for you!  You have been a superb Fire Man, an exceptional Husband, and the greatest Daddy!  I love you so very much and want to thank you for your commitment to the safety of our city!

Jaron Meets Daron

When we were given Jaron's dignosis, the doctor had never heard of Miller-Dieker Syndrome.  He printed out all the paperwork from his medical books and handed us a copy.  That packet plagued me for days.  I wanted the information but I didn't want to accept what it was telling me.  There were 2 pictures of children with MDS and it actually scared me to look at them.  It was where I was at emotionally in the process of learning horrible news about my baby.  I dreamed of being a nurse.  I love all the technical medical terminology about various medical conditions.  But when I'm reading a medical report about a syndrome my own baby has, its a totally different feeling.  It was sickening to read.  Slowly, I was able to read, reread, and then process the information.  Brian and I felt all alone because not even specialists had heard of or seen a child with Miller-Dieker.

In February, another little boy was born in Portland with Miller-Dieker Syndrome.  It's crazy how news like that can make us so excited and yet give us a devastated, heart-broken feeling in the same moment.  This meant we were not alone.  But it also meant another family was going to be traveling the dark, scary, overwhelming path we had just begun.

Through a series of crazy miscommunications (HIPPA regulations and computer issues), we were finally in contact with the family.  The kids and I went to visit at their house on April 13th.  I think Katya and I were the most anxious to connect.  Both of us loving moms, committed to the well-being of our children, painfully enduring the unknown path of parenting a very fragile child.  They have 5 children.  Her 4 older children and my 3 were fast friends, and even the baby boys seemed drawn to each other quickly.  Lukas was off playing light sabers with David (age 11), Daniel (9), and Deric (3).  And Haylee and Hannah loved playing dolls with Dasha (5). Separating the new best friends was very difficult at the end of our visit!  We plan to reconnect soon at a park or our house, this time with the dads!

 

They had struggled to find another "D" name that fit their new son and before they knew about Jaron, they decided on the name, Daron!  And if all these similarities weren't enough, they homeschool as well!  It was such a special gift to meet this sweet family and share stories and experiences that no one else quite understands.  We are both so thankful to have the Lord to depend on through these difficult times.  It was healing for me to be able to share what experiences we had been through so far, to help them better understand what to expect.

Each child is so different in the ways the condition affects them, but there are several commonalities.  No parent is ever ready to watch their child suffer, so Daron's family is especially concerned about the onset of seizures.  This is one of the most prevalent conditions with Miller-Dieker, and also the part filled with the most questions, decisions, and doubt.  I HATE seizures.  Please pray for this sweet family as they too experience the struggles and the joys of life with a special child.  We both agreed that our special little boys are a precious gift and we want to enjoy every moment we have with them!

Sick Baby Boy

Well, he's finally getting better now, which is why I have time to tell about it!  All 4 kids were hit with the same virus on the same day.  The 3 big kids were out at the Friant Farm for Vacation Bible School.  Nothing like summer camp AND staying at Papa and Grammy's house for 5 whole days!  The kids love it and Brian and I take on a big task at home that is otherwise impossible with a house full of kiddos.  Remember last year we built the play structure in the backyard. It was a fun surprise for them to return to.  


This year we sanded down and varnished our maple staircase that had never been finished.  Wow! This was a huge task!  Many late nights, sore sanding arms, dust-filled lungs...  but the silky, shiny finish is worth it all!  

The kids all had runny noses and a cough this year while they ran, sang, and played at the Son Surf Beach Bash VBS!  Papa Albaugh came with me to surprise the kids at their closing ceremony.  He had just returned from a 2 month long ministry project in Zambia.  (To learn more about NesTeam International click here.)  By the time they returned home (day 5), Lukas, Haylee and Hannah's noses were mostly dry and their coughs were clearing.  Not so for the baby boy.  He was just getting warmed up.  

Jaron's virus turned into non-stop coughing, crying, rapid breathing, about 2 weeks in.  We ended up at the Doernbecher Children's Hospital ER on a Sunday night.  The nebulizer treatments, suctioning, steam shower, and chest thumping therapies were not helping.  Although I packed my bags for a hospital stay, we were only there for 3 hours. (1-4 a.m. Thankfully, my mom and little sister came to let me take a nap the next day.)  The ER immediately gave him a nebulizer treatment called DuoNeb.  It has Albuterol and Atrovent to open up the lung airway quickly.  They also gave him a steroid called Dexamethasone to help reduce the swelling in his lungs.  He calmed down for the night, we were able to go home, and then see his pediatrician in the morning.  I was thankful that he never got a fever and he was able to find relief with the new scheduled nebulizer treatments that were started in the ER.  We are on week 4 and the boy is still coughing and junky (needs lots of suctioning), and regular nebulizer treatments (Albuterol and Pulmicort through inhalation system) through the day and night.  But he is SLOWLY improving.  Thank You, Lord!

FINISHED! Bring on the next one!

When I started this journey, I had a good 40 pounds to lose, half of which I'm still working on.  I'm hoping that the weight is harder to shed simply because I am gaining serious running muscles!

A few years ago I decided to do something about my weight. It had plagued me since I was fresh out of high school.  It took me motivating myself to exercise, eat more healthfully, and then actually losing weight, to realize that being overweight was not just an uncontrollable product of my genes.   I kept the 40 pounds off that time, until I was pregnant with my 4th child.  I realized my relationship with food and being inactive was actually sin I was clinging to.  I used food to bring me joy, to comfort me when I was stressed,  frustrated, or just plain bored.  I was a tired and overwhelmed mom of 4 young children.  I chose not to view my body from God's perspective.  He created our bodies to be His temple, a sacred place where His Spirit dwells (1 Corinthians 3:16).  I did not have the respect for my body that God had.  I was definitely not honoring God with my body. 


 Fast forward to March 2011, 16 days into our family's "Get Ripped" program.  I received the transformational message from God, through Diane Comer, our pastor's wife, whom I greatly respect. 


 A challenge to embrace, Romans 12:1 


Therefore, I urge you, (sisters) in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices,  Holy and pleasing to God—this is your spiritual act of worship.

To live out, 1 Corinthians 6:20

You are NOT YOUR OWN; you were bought at a price.  Therefore honor God with your body.

Encouraged by Jodi Stilp's words of running wisdom and advice, we, the women of Solid Rock, embarked on a mission to train and finish the Helvetia Half Marathon on June 11, 2011.

I had been working-out intensely for two and half weeks with Brian and the kids.  I was eating only the approved food on the "Get Ripped in 90 Days" meal plan.  I felt invincible!  Of course I could train for a half marathon!  That confidence was only half of the story.  I could have chosen the safe route and agreed to the 10K portion of the race.  Either way, I wasn't going to register until I was pretty sure I wasn't going to be injured by all this running.

Originally inspired by the "Biggest Loser" TV show, I really wanted my whole family (dad, mom, brothers and sisters) to do a family "biggest loser" with me.  I think they all have that doubt in their mind that they can't lose the weight either.  But I know they can!  With God, nothing is impossible!  Assuming I was going to get a big "N-O" from each one, I began asking them to join me on this "mission impossible," a half marathon.  And one-by-nervous-one, they said "YES!"  But they told me I was crazy and they all said, "only the 10K."

Here we go...

We got running shoes, headphones for our ipods, energy gels, new water bottles, recovery juices, and some real running socks!  My brother and sis-in-law got a double jogging stroller from craigslist so they could run with their two toddlers.   We were ready to train!  Separated by 1 to 5 hours distance, from Beaverton to Rainier, OR and up to Mount Vernon, WA. We stayed connected by group messages on Facebook.  We ran long runs together on the weekends when we could.  We even gathered for a family birthday in Tacoma and ran 10 miles along a golf course.  WE were really doing this!  I was still tentatively clinging to my commitment to run the 13.1 and the rest of the crew decided, as they registered online, to tackle the whole thing with me!  I couldn't believe it, they were signed up before me!  And they whined over the phone, "Why did you get me into this?"  I loved it!

Brian and I had talked about getting shirts made, since there were 7 of us running together.  It would just be cool to identify ourselves as a group!  We asked for ideas of a logo and knew we wanted a bible verse as our inspiration.  After all, we were doing this to glorify God with our bodies!  We chose a turtle for the front of our shirts because Jaron's nickname is Turtle Man.  Based on a picture of him smiling at about 2 weeks old, my sister Katy thought he looked like a turtle.  He's been collecting turtles ever since.  His amazing life has transformed each one of our lives over the course of the last year.  He is our little glimpse of heaven, here on earth.  Dad helped us find Hebrews 12:1 as our theme verse.  Little did we know, this verse would encourage countless runners along the course of the Helvetia Half Marathon!

Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, 

and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.

I only wish we had added: "And all God's children said, ____!"  Because I had at least 30 runners who commented on my verse while running the race.  And the others had that big of a response as well.  It would have been neat to have that many people saying, "AMEN!" as they passed by us!  Maybe on the next shirt...

Race day came. We all showed up, stretched, drank water, prayed, ran, walked, huffed, puffed, prayed some more, ached, groaned...  but all 7 of us FINISHED!!!  And we had a crowd of supportive family (11 people) to welcome us at the end!  Brian and the kids all came in the morning and waited half the day at the Hillsboro Stadium to see us cross that line.  A few of us beat our training pace!  Some were just thrilled to cross the finish line still alive! We were all amazed and thankful to complete what we started!  TOGETHER!  Let's do another one!

"The 20 Second Rule" vs. LOVE

Sitting in the living room the other day, I heard Lukas in the bathroom counting to "20," as he washed his hands.  I turned to Brian with a familiar, "what is going on?" look.  He laughed.  You know those signs in public restrooms that advise you to wash your hands for 20 seconds?  Well, Lukas saw the sign a few weeks ago and has been faithfully obeying the rule ever since.  You see, he is our first born and he is a rule-follower to the extreme. He almost panics when someone does something he knows is wrong.  He always worries about arriving on time.  He knows the speed limit and cell phone laws and advises me whenever I try to bend the rules.

~~~

I have been contemplating once again...    Considering the decisions we make as a family and the ways we have chosen to raise our children.  I am constantly being challenged to rethink my ways.  This is a good thing.  I don't think God intended for anything to be static, but rather molded, rethought, challenged and changed accordingly.  My thinking this week has been around the way we homeschool, train, feed, entertain, and just plain LIVE with our children.  It takes me several days, quiet thoughts, reading, journalling, praying, bouncing my thoughts off of one or two people I trust...

Being a stay-at-home Mama is super challenging.  Figuring out how to be a good steward of the gifts (children) that God has given, is a high and difficult calling.  I have felt this calling since I was a little girl...

My favorite thing to do was play "house."  

I waited, 

what seemed like forever, 

for my very own Cabbage Patch Doll.  

And Kitty Hellen, 

with a blonde puff of yarn on her otherwise round, bald head, 

was my most treasured possession!  

I sat and rocked that baby, and put her to bed, and disciplined her, and taught her, 

like my life depended on it. 

 The things that excited me in books were 

babies, 

hospitals, 

and teachers.  

God was preparing me for the life I'm now living! 

Amazing!

I have thought about why I'm homeschooling...  The simple answer: I enjoy it!
I don't have a long, well-thought out list to share.
 Although there are multiple reasons.
 And I have been inspired by Ann Voskamp's,  Why Would Anyone Be Crazy Enough to Homeschool?  blog post.  You should check it out, it's beautiful!  

But I am not Ann.   

I was challenged and encouraged by Katherine in her blog called,  Shelter is not a place  You could read that one too!

Or this one...  Shelter

But I was totally rocked by this article:

 Solving the Crisis in Homeschooling: Exposing the 7 major blind spots of homeschoolers

It is a REALLY LONG article and it relates to anyone whose desire is raising children to be true followers of Jesus.  This is not just about homeschooling!  I can't emphasize that enough!  It is a REALLY GOOD ARTICLE about family-minded parents, take the time to read it all. (I had to save it to my documents so that I could read it over several days.  I only had pieces of time to sit and read.)

I am guilty of every one of the 7 blind spots he addresses:

1.) Self-centered dreams 

2.) Family as an idol 

3.) Emphasis on outward form 

4.) Tendency to judge 

5.) Over-dependence on authority and control 

6.) Over-reliance upon sheltering 

7.) Formulaic parenting breaks down relationship

Two of my favorite quotes from his article that sum up what he's learned as a father and pastor: 

"Our children spiritually blossom, not from the controls we impose from the outside, but from what they catch from us on the inside."

"I have observed that the best and most lasting fruit is born in families in which the gospel is genuinely believed and lived. Parents who daily depend upon God, and not their methods and self-working principles, are most likely to pass on their faith. I am convinced that the most contagious parenting is living a heartfelt faith before your children."

I tried to explain the main things that moved me in this very long article and Brian just said,
"You already know all this."
Thanks, Hun!  (If he didn't have so much faith in me, I don't know how I could manage :)
But I guess as a stay-at-home-christian-homeschooling-mom (add "Jaron's nurse" to that list and I'm exhausted saying it!), I just need encouragement every once in awhile.
And a new perspective never hurts. 

To encourage is to give active help or to raise confidence 

to the point where one dares to do what is difficult. 

(Thank you, Mr. Webster)

He said it.  It's difficult.

We want the best for our children
 And we think they are the best
 So we'll do whatever it takes to be the best

But at what expense?

Every mom has stood in a grocery store with a crying child.  You aren't a real mom if you haven't.  Just wait.  It doesn't take long for the hopes and dreams you had of being perfect parents, with perfect plans, and producing perfect children...  to be loudly and embarrassingly, dashed.  Your first feeling in this instance, as I stated, is embarrassment.  What are all these people going to think of ME?
It is so easy to be trapped by this earthly desire to be seen as a good and godly parent.  But what does our heavenly Father have to say about this?  1 Samuel 16:7 states very plainly, "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at.  Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."

So what is truly important?

Whether other's see us as a success or failure as a parent?

Think about that for a minute....

Ask yourself, "Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God?  Or am I trying to please men?  If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ."  (Galatians 6:10) Paul just got it.  Paul is my hero.  As I study his letters, I never cease to be amazed by the life he lived, the truth he shared, and the faith he was rooted in.  I want to be like Paul.  An imperfect man who implicitly trusted God with his whole being.  No matter what the circumstance, YOU CAN TRUST JESUS!  I think this is my new motto.
But how often are we just like the pharisees?  We think we've got it all together.  We have all the right teaching, yet we fail to see the truth that Jesus came to free us with.  We act right so that we can look good.  We are experts at "cleaning the outside of our cup and dish, but inside we are full of greed and self-indulgence... on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness."  (Matthew 25:23, 28)  Looking good on the outside and having clean-cut, obedient, temper-tantrum-free children, is not why God called me to be a Mom.
Jesus came with a message that would set captives free, give sight to the blind, lift up those who are bowed down, feed the hungry, sustain the fatherless and widows... (Psalm 146:7-9)
He did not come to pat good mom's with well-mannered children on the back.  Good kids are not going to earn us a, "well done my good and faithful servant."  But I am guilty of seeking that assurance from my Savior.  That I'm doing all the right things, at all the right times, so that I get just the result I desire.
So, this is my rambling... Based on weeks of reading, questioning, stumbling...  I even considered getting rid of the TV a few weeks ago.  I don't think our family has been called to that decision but I am thankful for the perspectives I've been exposed to.  So that as a couple, Brian and I can make decisions for our family, that are pleasing to the Lord.  Ultimately, I want my children to LOVE the Lord their God with all their heart and with all their soul and with all their strength, and love their neighbor as themselves.

And that is what I must do.  

The rest is dust.  

~~~

I choose not to live in bondage to the world's view of being a "good parent".  I believe God wants His children to be set free from RULES in order to extend forgiveness, grace, mercy and unconditional love. That's what Jesus did.  He came to save that which was lost.  The down-trodden, broken-hearted, lost souls. He accepted the extravagant love of a prostitute.  He shepherded greedy tax-collectors.  He opened the eyes of a zealous pharisee.  He forgave each one of us and paid the ultimate price, because He loves even me.

LOVE IS THE KEY.

I can wash my hands for 20 seconds, but if I have not love...